Yes, I Made Mistakes

Mistakes in business aren’t just inevitable; they are essential. Every misstep, every regret, every moment I wish I could take back has shaped who I am today. I’ve learned lessons that no book, seminar, or mentor could have taught me. And while I once let my mistakes define me, I now see them as stepping stones to a stronger, wiser version of myself.

Managing the Wrong Way

I always thought being a good leader meant having all the answers. I micromanaged, thinking that if I wasn’t in control of every detail, things would fall apart. I didn’t trust my team enough, and in turn, I exhausted myself trying to do everything.

But beyond micromanaging, I had another bad habit—I expected everyone to operate the way I did. When I got into a creative zone, I went all in. My energy, my drive, my focus—it was full throttle, and I expected everyone around me to match it. I thrived on the rush of solving problems, building ideas, and executing them with speed. To me, that was the ultimate high—the feeling of momentum, of progress, of pushing limits.

The problem? Not everyone works that way.

I would get frustrated when others didn’t match my intensity. I wanted them to ride that same wave, to be just as immersed, just as fast, just as committed in the moment. When they weren’t, I took it personally. I mistook their different work styles for a lack of passion. I didn’t realize that not everyone fuels their creativity the same way. Some people need space to think, time to reflect, or just a different pace to deliver their best work.

What I learned: Leadership isn’t about forcing people to match my rhythm—it’s about finding a rhythm that works for the whole team. True creativity isn’t a solo sprint; it’s a collaborative journey. I had to learn to recognize and respect different work styles. Some of the best ideas don’t come from working harder and faster; they come from working smarter and understanding when to slow down.

When I started appreciating the value of different creative approaches, I became a better leader. I created environments where people felt safe to contribute in their own way instead of trying to force them into my high-speed, high-pressure mindset.

The result? More balance, better collaboration, and a team that thrived rather than burned out.

Trying to Be Friends at Work

I’ve always believed that work should feel like a second home, and that includes having friendships. I wanted my team to like me, to see me as more than just their boss. But the problem with blending friendships and management is that lines blur. When tough decisions had to be made, I hesitated. When discipline was necessary, I felt like I was disappointing them. The reality was, they had been coached over and over about the same issue.

Trying to Befriend My Boss or an Executive

I’ve always been someone who values connection. It’s how I build trust, how I create a supportive environment, and how I work best. So naturally, when I had a boss I respected and admired, I wanted to build a friendship. I wasn’t looking for favoritism or special treatment—I just wanted to be seen, to be valued, to have that professional camaraderie.

But not all bosses want to be friends. Not all executives want to learn more about me or even care.

At first, I didn’t understand why. Was it me? Had I done something wrong? Was I not good at my job? I watched as they laughed and joked with others, forming bonds with certain people in the office, yet with me, the relationship remained strictly professional. The rejection felt personal, like an attack on my worth.

I handled it the wrong way. Instead of seeing it for what it was—a professional boundary—I internalized it. I questioned my performance. I worked harder, thinking that if I just did more, proved more, excelled more, maybe I would be accepted. Maybe I would be worthy of the same friendship others received so effortlessly.

But here’s the reality: Some bosses simply do not want to be friends with their employees, and that’s okay. It’s not a reflection of my value or my work ethic. It’s not an attack. It’s just their personal boundary and I have learned, I am not for everyone and that is ok.

What I learned: Leadership is not about friendships; it’s about respect and trust. I had to stop tying my worth to whether or not my boss liked me on a personal level. Instead of seeking validation through a friendship that was never going to happen, I had to focus on what actually mattered—doing great work, setting my own professional boundaries, and recognizing that not every workplace relationship has to be personal to be valuable.

Allowing Others to Break My Confidence

Believe it or not, this is a more recent (past several years) mistake of mine. In the past I have always been an overly confident person when it came to my skillset. I would proudly display and show off work that I or my team would produce, but more recently there have been times when I let the wrong people shape my view of myself. Toxic coworkers, bad bosses, and even self-doubt crept in and made me question my abilities. I let criticism shake me, believing that maybe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. I allowed others to write my narrative, and for a while, I believed them. I didn't know how to shake this. I went from standing proud to wondering if I was ever really good.

But I came to understand something even more frustrating—some people have their own agendas, and at times, you’re simply an obstacle in their path. As a training professional passionate about leadership development, this goes against everything I believe in and teach. It challenges the very principles of collaboration, integrity, and growth that true leadership should embody.

The Reality of Leadership Competition

Not everyone in a leadership role is there to lift others up. Some leaders only feel powerful when they diminish the strengths of those around them. It’s not always about your talent or your hard work—it’s about the game they are playing. And sometimes, their game requires you to lose so they can win.

I’ve been in situations where I knew I was doing great work, delivering results, and making an impact. But despite all of that, I was not going to win. My achievements were downplayed, and my contributions were minimized. And for a while, I took it personally. I thought if I just worked harder, spoke louder, or proved myself more, I would finally get the recognition I deserved. I handled it poorly, but I learned valuable lessons.

But the truth is, in an environment fueled by leadership competition, hard work alone isn’t enough. You can’t fight someone else’s insecurity. You can’t control how others choose to lead. The only thing you can do is stay firm in your value, stay consistent in your work, and never let someone else’s agenda dictate your self-worth.

What I learned: Confidence isn’t about being recognized by others—it’s about knowing your value, no matter who tries to diminish it. You have to be your own advocate, your own champion, and your own source of validation. When you stop waiting for someone else to acknowledge your worth and start showing it through your work, you become untouchable.

Moving Forward

Mistakes don’t define us—how we respond to them does. I try not to dwell on what I did wrong; I am not going to lie, it is very hard but instead, I focus on how those lessons have made me better. Managing with trust, setting professional boundaries, and owning my confidence are just a few of the ways I’ve grown from my failures.

So, yes, I made mistakes. And I bet you I’ll make more. But I’ll also keep learning, growing, and evolving. Because in business and in life, the only real failure is refusing to learn from the past.

What mistakes have shaped you? Share your lessons in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.